If you kiss my lips, would you taste the sugar-coated frosting still lingering there? Would you suddenly feel differently about me? How would you? How could you? You never cared about me the way I wanted. I never really got what I wanted. I just got the stupid left-overs... all of the bruises shaped like broken hearts. I just found my heart to be shattered, knives being pointed, fists being raised, voices growing more and more loud as time went on.

They never cared when I fell, or rather, they pushed me. I don't think you would care either, if you were the one beating it out of me. But, you didn't really want me, so you wouldn't be beating me. Does that make much sense?








I'll just stop now,
stop all of my worthless babbling that's going through your brain by the speed of light and leaving it just as it came.
Good bye, I love you. I might come back.

10 times I thought of calling him last night.
9 things I thought of to happen in my story, but I haven't written it yet.
8 times I laughed at her, because she tries to be me. She does not succeed.
7, the un-lucky number, the seven deadly sins are upon you.
6 spoonfuls of sugar to keep me happy, to keep me alive. To keep myself from breaking down.
5... the amount of times I recited your ex-lover is dead in my head. I'm not sorry I did so either.
4 times I wanted to pick up my guitar and camera, and make a video, but 4 times I denied myself of that satisfaction. I didn't have batteries.
3... 3 cups I wanted. That was all. Was that too much to ask of you? Apparently so, because we didn't have milk, or tea.
2 things I said to myself, in the depth of darkness, were "I need to replace the lights around my window." & "Maybe his phone is on now..."

1 thing I wanted to do, was call you and tell you that I was fine. Instead, I layed in bed, hoping that you could just know that I was.

It's been a long time.
And boy has it been hell.
Sure I like my life,
But sometimes you couldn't tell.

It's like when you burn everything down.

You don't have anything left to burn,

but yourself.

Self distruction is not the answer

I must tell myself.

If I don't get better soon,

I don't know what I'll do.

But trust me,

it wont be too horrible.

I'm not sorry that I met you,

I'm not sorry that it's over,

&

I'm most definitly not sorry that I have nothing else to say,

except goodbye.

It was fun,

But like you did before me,

I just lost that touch.

And now I laugh,

for how moronic everybody is being.

Even I was such a fool.

I lost my dearest possesion,

A single chapstick,

and it ruined my day just thinking about my chapped lips.

Again at last,

I found it under my chair.

The one place I had looked several times.

Ha ha ha! That was a good one.

You almost got me there.

But wait, there's more?!

Really? You have more to say?

What else is there to say, other than

"I just meant it in a friendly way."

Don't you try to play me you dumb shit,

I can see right through you.

I can see the snow outside. The snow that sunk into my converse, making my itchy socks wet and gross.

Ew.

It's like this all of the time.
I know what she says.
I know how she sayd it.
I understand it.
I just...
choose not to go that way?
I choose not to think positive?

I feel so un-loved. As selfish as it seems.

I just want somebody that wont dusgust me.

I want him,

But he may not want me.

chances may be he might love me.

Chances may be that he might not.

Chances may be he just wants me as a friend.

That will only prove me wrong.

I'll be upset.

I'll be crushed.

I'll be embarassed...

But who cares anyways?